Imagine yourself losing your car key. You know that it is somewhere in the house, however, you decide to go out into the neighbour’s garden and look for it there. Does it make sense? Not really, however, most of us do it all the time – we look for happiness, for safety, for certainty, for love, for appreciation in all the wrong places. We cling, attach, depend, control, please, judge, justify and consume. We look for the things that are of the inside in the outside world.
Here is the brutal truth – our only true source of strength to create and maintain meaningful relationships, to love and be loved deeply, to be vulnerable, to be our true selves and to live fully lies within. We all know it to some extent, however, we keep on looking for our key in the neighbour’s garden. Quite often the house of our inner world is so messy that we wouldn’t even know where to begin.
The day comes when after either a loss of all of our money, multiple failed relationships, a death of a loved one or a serious diagnosis we are forced to look within because nothing on the outside world can alleviate the pain. What if we didn’t wait for something so monumental to happen? What if we found that source of strength within now? It doesn’t mean that tragedies won’t strike, however, if they do, we will have the right resources and inner capacity to deal with difficult emotions. In any circumstance, this inner source of strength is so much better of a crutch than a bottle, drugs, expensive purchases or toxic relationships.
3+1 Steps to connect to your inner source of strength
Define it. What is your inner source of strength? Your relationship with higher self/spirit/universe/god/quantum field? Who or what do you say ‘thank you’ to in the moments of grace? A colleague on the neuroscience course once asked me “Who is this ‘I’ who is observing my thoughts?”. There is no one definition, so let’s just call it a spiritual connection of sorts. It is for you to find what resonates with you and define it.
“A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty – it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.” – Albert Einstein
Tap into it. We can tap into that powerful place within through being intensely present, through prayer or meditation. It can also be accessed through nurturing a passion – painting, dancing, singing, playing music, writing, etc. Whatever gives us true joy and expands the time. Spending time alone in the nature may do the magic as well – biking, hiking, jogging… What resonates with you?
Build it into your routine. It is not enough to go to the gym once to be fit for life. Maintaining a strong connection with our true source of strength is a continuous work. It should be a part of our daily routine like making a bed. Regular practice increases our awareness which makes it so much easier to catch ourselves looking for that key in neighbour’s garden and bring our focus within. How much time, money and energy we could save living this way!?
Start working on your ‘stuff’. This is a ‘bonus’ step. When we become more aware of what is actually going on within – behind our desire to shop, drink, cling, attach, judge, unhealed parts of us are usually brought to light. It is an opportunity to address the issues that are keeping us away from living a truly fulfilling life. There is so much information out there – so many videos, webinars, books, articles on every possible subject when it comes to personal development that ignorance is really a choice.
Perhaps you found yourself stuck in yet another situation that is too familiar (another unappreciative boss, unloving relationships, etc.), it is very likely that there is a lesson to be learned here – something to address, an unhealthy pattern that you’re running. It can be a disempowering belief about yourself or the world, a meaning you give to certain events or your unwillingness to see your own part in the story. When we go beyond day-to-day’s drama and connect to our true source of strength, it becomes clear what it is that needs to be healed in order for us not to step on the same rake again.