What’s Holding You Back?

10 February, 2020

Sometime ago I had a dream that I was going through a leg surgery. After the surgery that very same day I was walking through crowded airport and limping really badly with my leg bandaged. At one point in my dream I caught myself thinking that it actually doesn’t hurt, why am I limping? The next thing I remember from that very same dream, is a spider on the wall. That’s it!

I, of course, used Google to discover the meaning of a spider in one’s dream. Apparently, spider was giving me a message that I weave my own web in life. Also, asking if I see the difference between the past and the future.

As simple as it was, here I had my moment of voilà!

Despite everything moving in my life, and rather fast, in a very desirable direction, I was somewhat stuck in the past. I did not celebrate my successes, and I was subconsciously holding myself back. Although, the past wasn’t hurting me anymore, I was desperately clinging to it. Limping was pretty much all I knew at this point, and it was more comfortable than walking with confidence and grace. I made limping a part of my identity.

My mum told me once that dreams are letters from our subconscious mind. If we interpret them right, they propel us in the right direction of what parts of us need to be either healed, awakened or dropped completely. My limping had to go.

How to suddenly start walking with grace and confidence if you were limping for a very long time? If limping became a part of your identity?

The good news is that identity is something we create, and we can change it at any point!

Our identity is who we believe we are. Once you shift your identity towards more positive image of yourself, cultivate a compassionate friend rather than critic within you, and start acknowledging and celebrating even smallest successes in life (become your own cheerleader), then everything changes – the way you show up, the actions you take, and the way people perceive you. Your sense of identity will determine how you show up in life and will attract the same feedback over and over again. Whatever feedback in whatever form you receive from your environment, will feed/reaffirm your sense of identity. It is like a vicious cycle. In order to change our reality, we need to change our beliefs.

What beliefs do you have about yourself that are holding you back? Take inventory. Honestly answer the questions below (these questions came from a book called The Calling by Rha Goddess).

  • What kind of person are you?
  • Do you feel good about yourself (i.e. who you are, what you have)?
  • Do you see yourself as capable?
  • Do you see yourself as worthy?
  • When you look in the mirror, are you pleased?
  • If you had to choose 5 words to describe yourself what would they be?
  • What are the things you’re really good at?
  • Do you feel confident in claiming the things that you’re really good at?
  • What are the things you’re not so good at?
  • How do you feel about the things you’re not so good at?
  • Do you feel confident in letting others know about the things you’re not so good at? Why or why not?
  • Do you trust yourself? Why or why not?
  • Is there anything else you see here about what you believe?

If you look at your answers, are you able to see the beliefs that could potentially have jeopardised your success in the past? If so, draw a vertical line in the middle of an A4 paper sheet (divide it into two parts). On the left side of the line jot down all the beliefs you identified as damaging. On the right side of the line write the empowering beliefs that you could substitute the negative ones with (you need to create an empowering belief for every negative belief you have identified). Once you feel like you’ve done a good job, cut the paper in half (follow the line). Burn a piece of paper with your current negative beliefs on. It is a small symbolic act, but it is important. Keep the half with empowering beliefs and practice them every day until they become a natural part of you.

Identifying the negative beliefs, you currently hold, will help you to be more aware as and when they attempt to creep up into your mind. Awareness is the key, because once you notice a negative belief in action, you can choose to replace it with a powerful alternative. In the beginning it will be a conscious process. However, it is like learning to drive. The day will come when empowering beliefs will be intrinsic part of your identity. In a meantime, it’s like with everything else, the more you practise, the better you’ll get at it.