I whisper word “surrender” in my mind and I immediately feel my shoulders drop down and my breathing get deeper.
If I had to think about moments in my life that were filled with incredible sets of circumstances, “aha” moments and extraordinary coincidences, those were the moments of complete surrender.
We think we know how it could be or it should be only if we acquire that car, that friendship or that promotion. We think we know what would make us happy and fulfilled. The reality is we don’t know until we experience it. To clench, grasp, push and pull in all directions to only find out that it wasn’t IT is consuming.
What if you exercised an idea that there is a greater intelligence than me or you and to some extent we are a part of it. That intelligence has our happiness and fulfilment at its core. When people say “follow your heart” that is what they mean – follow your intuitive knowing, that silent voice within. Sometimes we are tuned enough to hear the voice, but we refuse to listen because it suggests we put ourselves through painful challenges, we change direction of our lives or let people go. We are holding tight on to things that are no longer serving us, just to feel comfortably familiar. We want to control every outcome and we are addicted to our stress.
What is an act of surrender? It is a silent promise to embrace whatever comes our way. It starts with accepting ourselves the way we are, yet still striving to be the best we can be; allowing ourselves to feel, whether it is joy, sadness or anger, without holding on to the feeling itself; understanding that all that we consider unjust is there for a reason, yet never withhold compassion; releasing the judgement of ourselves and others, yet trusting our intuition and running to safety, both physical and emotional, if we need to; surrendering the need to be right and the need to know everything, instead embracing the fact that there is so much more to life than we will ever be able to comprehend…
When I look back at my life I feel grateful for not receiving the things that I wanted so badly. I fell for men who did not share my values, applied for the job that would have given me great financial rewards but no fulfilment, wanted an apartment in a small city without realising that I can have home anywhere in the world. Had I received all those things I wanted I would have not become the person I am today. I would have stayed inhibited by my own limitations.
There is a lot of chaos out there, a lot of noise of a big city, too many opinions and not enough insight, too many to do lists – hardly ever we can experience stillness and hear that voice of intuitive knowing within. I will always remember what Gurmukh told us in one of her yoga classes. If the noise distracts you, wake up at 5 in the morning, go out for a walk in a sleeping city or sit down on your meditation pillow because it is worth hearing what that voice of intuitive knowing has to say. Your life will change in that quiet moment.
“If we examine our life as a mythic journey, we may discover the deeper symbolic meanings of our struggles, our heroic battles – whether they are at work or at home, with our spouse, parents, or children, or addictions or disease. Connecting with the deeper symbolism of what we are doing allows us to know the significance of our lives regardless of whether the cultural markers of money and fame are present. Discovering the deeper personal symbolism of our journey, just as it is, also allows us to know and feel that our lives are deeply meaningful, or to make adjustments so they become more so.” – Gurmukh