If This Was to Stay

23 May, 2022

“When [blank] happens, then I’ll be able to [blank]” – does this sound familiar? Everyone I’ve ever met is running this monologue in their heads pretty much on daily basis. We especially tend to go there when we find ourselves in discomfort. In other words, when we don’t like our current circumstances.

When I find a partner, I’ll be loved and happy.
When I have more money, I’ll be able to go on holiday.
When I get rid of this huge pile of work, I’ll start looking after my health.
When I lose weight, I’ll start dressing nicely.

What if your current circumstances were here to stay? Be it extra weight, lack of money, no significant other or huge workload. What would you need to birth in yourself in order to be ok with what is? Discomfort invites us to grow internally into new ways of being and thinking. It is our friend, not the enemy to be resisted and ‘waited out’.

It doesn’t mean staying forever single, broke, buried under a pile of work or overweight. It simply means accepting the present moment as it is and starting to live today instead of waiting for the time ‘when [blank] happens’.

Can you learn to appreciate being single? It is a wonderful opportunity to get to know you. How do you like your eggs cooked? Remember the film Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts? Well, she liked her eggs scrambled when she was with John, hard boiled with Harry and poached with James (names and ways of egg-preparation are not accurate).

Instead of going on a far-away holiday, could you explore the countryside nearby, do a digital detox or treat yourself to a massage in order to rewind a little? Change of scenery and novel experiences work magic.

Could you start taking small steps towards healthier living today? Perhaps 15minutes meditation before bed or ditching processed foods? Seemingly small changes yield big results long term. There is no point to work yourself to exhaustion and then shock your body with a week on juice cleanse programme. Only to…repeat the same cycle over again. Small sustainable changes will bring better results and, effectively, will give you energy to tackle tasks with more oomph.

Perhaps you could start dressing nicely even if you still carry that excess weight. Make a little effort, so you feel better about yourself looking in the mirror. Show yourself that you care about you. You will be surprised how such simple things can alter your self-image long term.

Truth is, [blank] may never happen. In fact, it is more likely to happen when we loosen our tight grip on it and stop resisting the present. Otherwise, we are at risk of spending a great deal of time waiting and not living.