“This is such an inappropriate question in the spiritual context of this website!” – If that was your initial reaction to the title, then you definitely need to be more selfish.
There is a misconception in our society – we overvalue sacrifice, we consecrate poverty and we think that looking after ourselves is either a sin or a luxury. The more energy, love, compassion and money we have the more we can give. In order to feel energetic, filled with love and compassion – to be abundant in every area of our lives, we have to show ourselves some love.
Think about it for a moment. If you constantly look after everyone else, not tending to your own needs, both physical and spiritual, how long before your fuel runs out? When you are exhausted and overwhelmed what is your capacity to give? Will you be the most supportive partner, great parent and an amazing friend?
On a larger scale, deprived, stressed about your ability to provide for yourself and for your family, feeling exhausted and inadequate, what is it that you can contribute to this world?
Make it a habit to regularly retract from everything and everyone and give yourself some self-love. Be a little bit more selfish, not narcissistic or self-obsessed, just fill up your tank.
What’s your fuel?
- Reading a good book to get some inspiration and broaden your horizons
- Writing a journal to gain some clarity
- Attending that yoga class your mind and body are desperate for
- Watching a good old comedy to switch off your busy mind
- Organising your wardrobe to help you organise your thoughts
- Doing some soul-searching (whether on your own or with a coach)
- Going to women’s networking events / workshops to be heard and to listen to the stories of others
- Cooking something you always wanted to cook but never had time to or were worried that your family won’t like it
- Going for a long walk in the forest, on the beach or in the concrete jungle – whatever works for you
- Listening to the music that you never make room for, although, it elevates you
- Laughing with a friend – we all have one of those who always cracks us up
- Dancing your shoes off in that Zumba class
- The list goes on…
All the above are so obvious, there is nothing on that list we haven’t heard before. Yet over and over again I speak to completely run-down women who know even more ways to fuel up their tanks but don’t do anything. It is through doing, not through knowing that we get results.
It this post resonates with you, schedule something now and fill up your tank! The more ‘juice’ you have, the more you can give.