Juicy Grape was born out of my own struggle to live fully. I felt lost and had no energy or passion as if all the juices were sucked out of me. I depended upon other people’s moods, feelings and behaviours. I allowed myself and others to violate my standards. I compromised in an unhealthy way in order to be loved, accepted and appreciated. Life was happening to me, not through me. I knew I was betraying myself but that wasn’t a loud enough call for a change.
Soon my initial feeling of being empty turned into frustration, anger and desperate attempts to seek happiness in outer circumstances and other people. The turning point was a clear realisation how much I did not like the person I became – a raisin! I felt like I had nothing to give.
After doing some serious soul-searching, reading every self-help book that I could get my hands on and listening to hundreds of podcasts, I realised that I was fully responsible for what I have created which meant I could start anew at any point I chose (not that I did not know that before in theory!).
This drove me to commit to becoming a person I would love to be – a juicy grape: vibrant, alive, fuelled with passion, creativity, loving and compassionate. I realised the importance of purpose, the idea behind physical and mental discipline, I found my go-to medicine; meditation, yoga, creative and spiritual work.
It doesn’t mean that I never fall back into the old ways of being/thinking/feeling but having a defined image of who I want to be makes it so much easier to pull myself out of there. Each day my aim is to get closer to that image than I was the day before.