Are you not fed up yet with hearing “Darling, you just need to love yourself”? It sounds like such a profound advice until the moment you start thinking of implementing it. Some people interpret it as being completely egotistic and self-centred / on a brink of narcissism. For others standing in front of the mirror looking into their own eyes and repeating “I love you” seems to be like a logical place to begin (nothing wrong with that, by the way, if it works for you). And there are people, probably most of us, simply left in a crippling confusion. Not any longer though!
There are very actionable steps that can be taken for a true long-lasting transformation to happen. Of course, things won’t change overnight. However, isn’t it amazing to know that there is an actual strategy to loving yourself and it works!?
There is no love without appreciation. Period. You can call it whatever you like but it is not love. Make it a habit to review your day by asking two questions:
- What did I do great?
- What could I improve next time?
Don’t beat yourself up about what went wrong – it is not productive.
Appreciate yourself for the smallest achievements: for being present when listening to a troubled friend, for making bed in the morning, for bringing in another client, etc. Praise yourself for the things you would like others to praise you for. Don’t wait for praise to come from anyone else.
Build your confidence
You build your confidence by achieving things, by keeping promises to yourself. We tend to jeopardise our success by establishing either unrealistic or too long-stretched goals. To get our perfect cocktail of dopamine and oxytocin, we need to set small goals and celebrate once we’ve achieved them. Set yourself a goal for a week ahead. Work your but off Monday to Friday to achieve it and celebrate over the weekend. Dopamine is that anticipation when we work towards something, oxytocin floods our brain when we’ve achieved our goal and we are celebrating/enjoying the result. Don’t just work all the time, complete the cycle – make time to celebrate/to enjoy the results. It is crucial for our happiness, motivation and confidence.
Improve your self-esteem
Self-esteem is what you think about yourself, not what others think about you. Dig deeper into what is it that you truly think about you. Who do you need to become / what do you need to address in order to have a better opinion of yourself?
Take care of your mental/emotional space
- Avoid negativity. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Remember, every thought you have is a direct command to your brain. If you are telling yourself “I am a loser” your brain will work hard to prove it to be true, the same applies to the statement “I am a smart, kind and fun to be around person”. It is your choice.
- Move your body. Motion is emotion. It is really difficult to be drowning in misery whilst doing the squats.
So, darling, just follow the steps above and you will end up loving yourself more! 🙂