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What Is True to You?

Posted on: March 25th, 2020 by Domante No Comments

It is an incredible period in history, so restricted and really scary at times, yet full of different kind of opportunities. For the first time we are forced to have time and space for things we know we should be doing but somehow, under normal circumstances, everyday life gets in our way. It is time to ask ourselves “What is true to me?”. When all the noise withers away, when all the gossip and busy conversations are no longer tainting our perception, we can really delve deep and get to the bottom of who we are, really. When this is over, and humanity will prevail, so this will be over sooner or later, we can start anew, start from the depth, start with what is truly important and unique to us.

Whether you want to bring more meaning into your life, to change your job, to start a business, to take your current business into a whole new level, or perhaps strengthen your relationship with the ones you love. This, my friend, is a perfect time to delve deep and step by step discover what is true to you.

Declutter. Let go of anything that is no longer serving you, both emotionally/spiritually and physically. It is usually the clutter in our lives that blocks the clarity. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying by Marie Kondo is a revolutionary book that can help you to completely transform your outer space. The author says that “The key to successful tidying is tackling your home in the correct order, keeping only what you really love and doing it all at once. This incredibly easy method will not just transform your space, it will change you too. You will feel more confident, become more successful and be motivated to create the life you want.” You can find more information and useful tips here: https://konmari.com

Allow your mind to wander. We are so used to operating from our analytical mind – beta brainwaves – that we almost don’t know how to stop. We literally get ourselves into paralysis by overthinking/overanalysing things. If you really need a solution or an insight, allow your mind to wander – move into alpha/theta brainwaves. Children are really good at this! Quite naturally, our mind starts wandering when we are showering, exercising, meditating, working around the house (cleaning, gardening etc.). You simply need to release yourself from overthinking and allow it. Every genius idea was born out of this state.

Learn to connect to your heart. This will absolutely benefit you in every area of your life, especially in these challenging circumstances. Did you know that your heart has its own intelligence? Read The HeartMath Solution in order to “Access the power of your heart’s intelligence to improve your focus and creativity, elevate your emotional clarity, lower your stress and anxiety levels, strengthen your immune system, promote your body’s optimal performance, and slow the aging process.” Check HeartMath Institute’s website for more information: https://www.heartmath.org

Start with Why. Simon Sinek’s Global bestseller is teaching us that in business it doesn’t matter what you do, it matters why you do it. I would say it applies to everything in life. If your why is not strong enough, you won’t follow-through. Why you want to get fit? Why you want to learn Spanish? Why you want to start your business? The why has to be bigger than you, it has to be incredibly compelling and you have to feel an emotional connection to it. I will give you an example.

Why I started Juicy Grape?

For my Mum and my Grandma, they don’t understand how beautiful, loving, generous and kind they are, they once gave their power away and suffered greatly because of it. Also, for all the women, men and children who feel as if they are less, who depend on other people’s opinions and moods, who do not have an unshakeable foundation and ability to say “no”. “No” to world’s demands and to their own ego claiming its share. For all the people who have this budding feeling of possibility of freedom. Freedom from their own limitations, socially applied rules and restrictions, from that subconscious misdefined desire to be a “good wife”, “good mother”, “real man” etc. We are all here to live a meaningful life, to fulfil our soul’s purpose and to serve the way we can best. It is not for selected few – it is everybody’s birth right.

For more inspiration read Simon’s book Start with Why and/or watch his Ted talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action

Explore your strengths. It is much easier to build on what you are already good at than simply throwing everything to the wall waiting to see what sticks. For a small fee you can buy access to CliftonStrengths test. It will take 35 minutes of your time and it will give you an overview of what you are really good at. It is up to you whether to go for top 5 or to discover all 34 strengths. Here is the link to UK online store: https://store.gallup.com/c/en-gb/for-individuals/assessments If you are located anywhere else, please make sure you change the location settings (top right corner) to be able to purchase.

Discover your personality type. It will steer you in the right direction. I certainly had quite few “aha” moments reading my results. However, note that not all of the tests out there are that great. Choose carefully not to waste your time and, potentially, money. I found Jung Personality Test to be the most accurate for me. You can get an overview of your personality type free of charge, but I would really recommend paying a small fee (an investment, if you wish) to get access to extensive report because it will allow you to get deeper insight into various different areas (i.e. your leadership style, motivators etc.). Here is a link to the personality test: https://www.123test.com/jung-personality-test/

It is fun to do this work, I promise you! Most importantly, it will give you clarity on what is true to you, perhaps what is no longer serving you, who are you, really, and what that next big step looks like for you.

A Strategy to Loving Yourself

Posted on: March 17th, 2020 by Domante No Comments

Are you not fed up yet with hearing “Darling, you just need to love yourself”? It sounds like such a profound advice until the moment you start thinking of implementing it. Some people interpret it as being completely egotistic and self-centred / on a brink of narcissism. For others standing in front of the mirror looking into their own eyes and repeating “I love you” seems to be like a logical place to begin (nothing wrong with that, by the way, if it works for you). And there are people, probably most of us, simply left in a crippling confusion. Not any longer though!

There are very actionable steps that can be taken for a true long-lasting transformation to happen. Of course, things won’t change overnight. However, isn’t it amazing to know that there is an actual strategy to loving yourself and it works!?

Appreciate yourself

There is no love without appreciation. Period. You can call it whatever you like but it is not love. Make it a habit to review your day by asking two questions:

Don’t beat yourself up about what went wrong – it is not productive.

Appreciate yourself for the smallest achievements: for being present when listening to a troubled friend, for making bed in the morning, for bringing in another client, etc. Praise yourself for the things you would like others to praise you for. Don’t wait for praise to come from anyone else.

Build your confidence

You build your confidence by achieving things, by keeping promises to yourself. We tend to jeopardise our success by establishing either unrealistic or too long-stretched goals. To get our perfect cocktail of dopamine and oxytocin, we need to set small goals and celebrate once we’ve achieved them. Set yourself a goal for a week ahead. Work your but off Monday to Friday to achieve it and celebrate over the weekend. Dopamine is that anticipation when we work towards something, oxytocin floods our brain when we’ve achieved our goal and we are celebrating/enjoying the result. Don’t just work all the time, complete the cycle – make time to celebrate/to enjoy the results. It is crucial for our happiness, motivation and confidence.

Improve your self-esteem

Self-esteem is what you think about yourself, not what others think about you. Dig deeper into what is it that you truly think about you. Who do you need to become / what do you need to address in order to have a better opinion of yourself?

Take care of your mental/emotional space

So, darling, just follow the steps above and you will end up loving yourself more! 🙂

Embrace the Discomfort

Posted on: March 9th, 2020 by Domante No Comments

We have all been in uncomfortable situations and we all know how it feels – you want to catapult yourself from that seat, hover above your body until it is finished or run without looking back. I am not talking about the real moments of threat when our fight or flight mechanism gets activated for a reason. I am talking about that meeting where it is your turn to speak, and you feel like a complete idiot uttering nonsense. I am talking about that kiss you gave to a girl/boy at the end of the first date that wasn’t received as you expected. I am talking about that conversation with your boss where you “froze” and couldn’t stand up for what you believe in.

These are the moments when our fight or flight mechanism is activated because of a perceived threat, usually to our identity. As soon as that discomfort sets in, we start judging ourselves “Why did I just say that?!”, “I sound like an idiot!”, “I am a waste of space”, “Oh, please please please I want this meeting to finish, enough embarrassment”, and completely resist not only what is happening, but what we are feeling too.

The reason we cannot move past the discomfort, sometimes days after that particular event, is because we did not choose to sit through it in complete presence allowing it to unfold into whatever it is there to unfold into.

What is discomfort? It is a slight pain, it is a moment when you feel uneasy, anxious, or embarrassed. It is also a sign of something new emerging, a sign of growth.

Few days ago I had a meeting with somebody who is absolutely incredible at what he does, very aspirational human being. I am in a situation in my professional life where I really want to expand what I am doing into something I have never done before, and he is absolutely the best person to talk to in the field. In that meeting I received so much valuable insight, but there was a point where I thought “I have no idea what I want, nothing that comes out of my mouth makes sense, and I am wasting this man’s time”. I found myself in such an intense discomfort. I wanted this conversation to be over. However, the respect and appreciation I hold for this individual forced me to surrender my resistance and relax into my discomfort. The moment I committed to it, everything shifted. As a result, we had an incredible conversation where not only I benefited hugely from his expertise, but I was able to offer him an insight too. It was an exchange of gifts.

Had I not surrendered my resistance, I would have carried that discomfort for days, and would have never had a chance to unwrap the gift that this particular situation had to offer.

Commit to the moment of discomfort by letting go of resistance and relaxing into the situation. It will be completely transformed. Go even further, embrace those moments of discomfort, knowing that they are precious gifts in disguise.