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What’s Holding You Back?

Posted on: February 10th, 2020 by Domante No Comments

Sometime ago I had a dream that I was going through a leg surgery. After the surgery that very same day I was walking through crowded airport and limping really badly with my leg bandaged. At one point in my dream I caught myself thinking that it actually doesn’t hurt, why am I limping? The next thing I remember from that very same dream, is a spider on the wall. That’s it!

I, of course, used Google to discover the meaning of a spider in one’s dream. Apparently, spider was giving me a message that I weave my own web in life. Also, asking if I see the difference between the past and the future.

As simple as it was, here I had my moment of voilà!

Despite everything moving in my life, and rather fast, in a very desirable direction, I was somewhat stuck in the past. I did not celebrate my successes, and I was subconsciously holding myself back. Although, the past wasn’t hurting me anymore, I was desperately clinging to it. Limping was pretty much all I knew at this point, and it was more comfortable than walking with confidence and grace. I made limping a part of my identity.

My mum told me once that dreams are letters from our subconscious mind. If we interpret them right, they propel us in the right direction of what parts of us need to be either healed, awakened or dropped completely. My limping had to go.

How to suddenly start walking with grace and confidence if you were limping for a very long time? If limping became a part of your identity?

The good news is that identity is something we create, and we can change it at any point!

Our identity is who we believe we are. Once you shift your identity towards more positive image of yourself, cultivate a compassionate friend rather than critic within you, and start acknowledging and celebrating even smallest successes in life (become your own cheerleader), then everything changes – the way you show up, the actions you take, and the way people perceive you. Your sense of identity will determine how you show up in life and will attract the same feedback over and over again. Whatever feedback in whatever form you receive from your environment, will feed/reaffirm your sense of identity. It is like a vicious cycle. In order to change our reality, we need to change our beliefs.

What beliefs do you have about yourself that are holding you back? Take inventory. Honestly answer the questions below (these questions came from a book called The Calling by Rha Goddess).

If you look at your answers, are you able to see the beliefs that could potentially have jeopardised your success in the past? If so, draw a vertical line in the middle of an A4 paper sheet (divide it into two parts). On the left side of the line jot down all the beliefs you identified as damaging. On the right side of the line write the empowering beliefs that you could substitute the negative ones with (you need to create an empowering belief for every negative belief you have identified). Once you feel like you’ve done a good job, cut the paper in half (follow the line). Burn a piece of paper with your current negative beliefs on. It is a small symbolic act, but it is important. Keep the half with empowering beliefs and practice them every day until they become a natural part of you.

Identifying the negative beliefs, you currently hold, will help you to be more aware as and when they attempt to creep up into your mind. Awareness is the key, because once you notice a negative belief in action, you can choose to replace it with a powerful alternative. In the beginning it will be a conscious process. However, it is like learning to drive. The day will come when empowering beliefs will be intrinsic part of your identity. In a meantime, it’s like with everything else, the more you practise, the better you’ll get at it.

Dare to Be Unapologetically YOU

Posted on: February 5th, 2020 by Domante No Comments

Twisted faces, fake laughter, ego-driven conversations, going back and forth between attack and defence, constantly trying to prove that we are somebody, we know something, feeling baffled by comparisons we make to either feel worthless or better than others. STOP.

We are trying to be anything and everything that we are truly not – it hurts deeply and consumes us greatly. It is like walking on a thin glass that can shatter any moment. How much stress, anxiety and the fear of being “found out” it must cause. It robs us of the possibility to establish deeper connections, to feel whole/complete and to experience fulfilment in life.

Unapologetically you doesn’t mean being perfect or having the right to act like an as***le. I hear things like “If I am being truly myself I may hurt others, because, you know, I am not really a very good person”, that’s just lacking integrity and avoiding responsibility towards yourself and others. Being a good person or a bad person (however we define it) is a choice, not a default quality of our true self. We make choices every day on how we are going to show up, whether we understand it or not. It is our responsibility to take care of our mental/emotional space, so we could make those decisions from the place of who we truly are at our core. That “not a very good person” would never be who you truly are because you are a divine creation – you are gorgeous at your core. You simply worked hard and long enough to convince yourself and others otherwise.

How would your life change if you started responding from that authentic place within you rather than allowing ego to orchestrate the show?

Being unapologetically you may be a totally new experience for you. It may also be a very scary place to go to if you haven’t visited it yet. Many of us are so afraid of finding a bogey man (the light being shed on all our shortcomings). However, it is quite the opposite; if we look deep enough, what we discover is an invaluable gift.

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

Discover your true self

Once you discover your true self, you will realise how beautiful, creative, passionate and powerful you are. Share your true self with the world and make it a conscious practice to not let anything stand in your way. If you slip, don’t beat yourself over it, just pick yourself up and choose again.